Saturday, June 11, 2011

50 Ways You Know You Play Too Much DnD

It's really easy to get completely sucked into DnD and tabletop games. The basic game mechanics are simple, the stories and characters can be fun (with a good DM and other players), and if you're more advanced, you can do anything you want. Eventually, and I promise you it will happen, the games you play will begin to trickle into real life... In honor of our 50th post, Ravi and I give you...

50 Ways You Know You Play Too Much DnD!

1) You begin to wonder what popular characters or historical figures' abilities scores are. Ex: "Hey DM, what do you think the Hulk's strength score is? Who do you think has the higher one between the Hulk and the Thing?"

2) You begin to wonder what YOUR ability scores are. 
*Bonus bonus points if you get depressed thinking about how low your own hit points are.

3) When you trip, can't open a jar, forget something, or are generally unlucky, you figure you just rolled a natural 1.

4) The same goes for doing something awesome, epic, or lucky. Obviously you just rolled a 20.

5) When you see someone believing someone who's obviously lying, you think "Someone just failed his Sense Motive." Or, if the lie is just that crazy and is still believed, "Well, in his defense, that guy's put a ton of skill points into Bluff."
* Bonus points if you think this while watching election footage.

6) When watching a fight sequence, you wonder how many hit points the participants have.
* Bonus points if you calculate how much damage the weapons do plus the wielder's assumed strength bonus versus how many obvious hits they take to figure out an estimated HP total. Extra bonus points if you can pinpoint a critical hit or sneak attack.

7) You can't see anything you think is cool without wondering how stating it out for DnD would work out. (I still want my pet Glyptodon, DM....)
*Bonus points if you actually got your DM to agree. Extra bonus points if you, as the DM, did it.

8) You count succeeding on a task as boosting your points in that skill. (Those s'mores cookies? Totally a point in Craft: Baked Goods.)

9) You wonder what the different potions taste like.

10) When you go to a bar, you look around for any shadowy figures alone at tables.

11) Road rage? No, they've just got a level in Barbarian. 

12) When cooking or doing dishes, you wonder about the mechanical differences between cast iron and stainless steel. What's going to do more damage in event of invaders?

13) You want to learn how to pick a lock. You never know when you're going to need to make an Open Lock check.

14) You actually know what a Kender is.

15) You can't watch the Olympics anymore without thinking about all the checks the participants have to keep making.

16) You get into heated arguments over the alignment of the average person.

17) You know better than to hang out in graveyards. Undead ALWAYS attack when you're in a graveyard.

18) You find yourself frequently explaining to people that dice come in more varieties than 6 sided, or, in the case of being asked to bring some dice to an event, you bring your whole bag.

19) When you have an event to wear a costume, you have a hard time choosing what character of yours you want to dress up as.

20) In said costume, when someone asks you who you are, you end up telling someone your character's whole backstory.
*Bonus points if they didn't ask.

21) You think about who would star/voice your character and teammates in a live action/animated movie.

22) You feel sad that you don't have a Ye Olde Tavern nearby where you can get a mug of ale, a turkey leg, and tough, chewy bread. (And if you do, it's your favorite place to eat.)

23) When a friend suggests drinking games, you wonder how many Constitution checks you'll have to make.

24) You call your pet your familiar.

25) You think about what kind of Charisma bonus you'll get from a cute outfit in the store window.

26) You accidentally call a rock star a bard.

27) When someone asks what languages you speak, you answer "Common."
*Bonus points if you have it as a known language on Facebook.

28) When you get injured, you wish you had a potion or a cleric. Seriously, you'll just need a cure light. You don't have that many HP.

29) Ever since you learned that a Level 1 Commoner could be killed by a housecat, you're much more cautious around Mittens.

30) When most people are stuck in rush hour traffic, they long for jetpacks. You long for a Fly spell.

31) You've wondered what it would feel like to level up.
*Bonus points if you're pretty sure you've felt it.

32) You'd be much more open to flying if all planes came equipped with giant rings of Feather Fall.

33) When something interrupts your boredom, you consider it a plothook.

34) The best gift someone can give you is a new set of dice in your favorite colors.

35) Your alcohol of choice is Crown Royal, because there's no better booze than one that comes with a free dice bag.

36) You think of actions and movement in 6-second turns. Ex: How many turns will it take to cross the office hallway?

37) You wonder about the conversion rate between DnD gold and your local currency. How much would a belt of giant's strength really cost?
*Bonus points if you've actually determined a figure. (Well, if you just find how many GP make up a pound to find the weight of a single coin, then research the current value of gold...)

38) You know how to determine the grapple check for a thumb war or arm wrestling.

39) Instead of doing a haunted house for Halloween, you turn your home into a dungeon crawl.

40) You daydream of it being as easy as putting two skill points in Speak Language to completely learn a foreign language.

41) You'd have paid a lot more attention in class if you were learning Draconic, Celestial, Giant, Druidic...

42) You think a bag of holding would make vacations and moving house so much easier.

43) You can no longer call dice just dice for board games. You play Monopoly with 2d6. (Or 1d12, if you want to give it some love.)

44)You know there's no greater stress relief than making a character sheet of someone who's pissing you off, then sending it through the shredder.

45) You legitimately forgot that not all monks are martial arts masters.

46) You wonder what you took for the feat you got for being Human.

47) Many people hang fuzzy dice in their car. Your hanging plush d20 are not as common.

48) Your idea of a good evening alone is sitting down and rolling up a new character.

49) You've realized just how many of these apply to you.
*Bonus points if you're thought of more.

50) You read Girls Rolling 20s :)

Thanks for sticking around for 50 posts. Onward to 100!

Happy rolling!

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations on hitting this milestone, girls! Even if DMing for you two is like herding cats, it's still fun* and you're doing a great job here.

    *I may or may not be a wholly broken person.